Gena Mohwish’s father went to prison before she really knew him. Gena remembers going to random houses with her mother to buy drugs and then her mother went to a mental hospital to be treated for schizophrenia, anorexia, and drug abuse. When her mother wasn’t in the mental hospital, she was fighting with her boyfriend. There was always fighting around her. She was a quiet kid. When she was 7, her mother lost custody of Gena, who went to live with her grandmother. Around the same time, Gena started having panic attacks. She was afraid of dying. Eventually, her mother came to live with them and brought her boyfriend and all of their problems with her. When Gena was 12 years old, she threatened suicide and was hospitalized. She was diagnosed with depression and post-traumatic stress disorder. Medication and therapy didn’t help. She stopped going to therapy and started cutting. She stopped taking her medication and started taking pills that she found around the house—sleeping pills, anything to numb her. When she was sad, she took pills. When she was angry, she cut herself. She was still a straight-a student, though, and a perfectionist in other things as well. She thought that people would love her if she didn’t do anything wrong. Eventually, the depression became too deep and she couldn’t get out of bed. Her grades dropped and she cut herself for getting bad grades. She thought she was ugly and dumb, but she was beautiful and smart. She thought she was sad and she was. But she has a huge heart. She has coped by writing, but sometimes it is too much. Her mother’s boyfriend assaulted her and went to jail. She took all of her mother’s anti-psychotics and went back into a mental hospital. She got herself out in a week by avoiding emotion. She was seen horrible things, but believes that beauty exists. She is not scared. She is not embarrassed. She is taking her medication, but she does not tell her therapist everything. She will not kill herself. These are not problems, but learning experiences. She is resilient. She is optimistic. She is going to go to medical school so that she can help other people. Gena says that tragedy can be beautiful.

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Fri, Aug 15 2008 08:41 | beautiful, Gena Mohwish, smart, resilient

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Michael Kimball

#67 Gena Mohwish: Tragedy Can Be Beautiful